Knowing a fear is unreasonable doesn't always help

We all know that we won't die if we have to give a speech in front of a room of people, drive across a bridge, take an important exam, fly in an airplane, or attend a party where we don't know anyone, but that knowledge might not help us feel any better.

Phobias are intense fears of things that do not pose a great deal of danger. If you have a phobia, you probably realize that the fear is unreasonable. However the fear doesn't seem to care whether you think it's reasonable or not.

If a phobia is strong, you may change your life to avoid what you fear:

• You may have a social phobia, a fear of being judged in social situations, that keeps you from making friends, finding romatic partners, or advancing in your career.
  
  
• You might limit your career for fear of public speaking or airplane travel. You might be unable to compete in athletic events or academic studies for fear of failing or from test taking anxiety.
  
  
• You might be afraid to walk in your neighborhood or in nature for a fear of animals such as dogs, spiders, or snakes, or even germs.
  
  
• You might avoid closed spaces such as elevators or going to the dentist or doctor.

If you believe you or someone you love may suffer from a social phobia, please see my page specifically about social phobias. There is help available for you or someone you love in Oakland.

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Phobias are Natural Fears Gone Wrong

Most people experience some degree of fear of things such as public speaking, heights, and spiders. It may be that these fears once served an evolutionary purpose to help us survive. A certain amount of fear can actually be helpful in stressful situations, as it readies our bodies for quick action using our flight or fight response, and we can use this energy to complete the demands of the tasks at hand. Fear is an adaptive response that we have developed to help us survive, and it can be a very valuable tool.

Phobias are fears that have gone wrong. What may have been adaptive and even helpful in some situations has become debilitating and limiting. It makes sense, for example, to be afraid of running into traffic on the highway for fear of being hit. It is not reasonable, though, to fear leaving your house or walking down the street for fear of a car hitting you.

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Children and Phobias in Oakland

It is normal for children to be afraid of things that do not cause alarm for adults. Infants and toddlers are commonly afraid of loud noises, being separated from caregivers, and strangers. Children from two to six are often afraid of monsters, sleeping alone, and the dark. Older children tend to share fears about death, injury, social shame, or disasters.

Even though some phobias are normal among children, children can and do suffer from phobias. The therapy of phobias for children is different from that of adults and teens, because children have very different cognitive abilities and needs. I have good results with kids with whom I conduct play therapy, and whenever possible, I attempt to include parents and caregivers in conjoint or family therapy so children use their relationship with a safe adult to work through their fears.

I am one of few therapists who uses EMDR and somatic experiencing therapy interventions with children. I adopt these powerful techniques to the cognitive and developmental needs of each child and family. I offer these interventions to children in Oakland.

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