love. safety. trust.

Oakland Grief, Loss, and Bereavement Therapist

In Oakland, Matthew Lindgren offers grief, loss, and bereavement therapy to help children, teens, and adults.

Your life is no longer the same

You remember when things were different before you experienced a major loss. Maybe you lost someone you love. Maybe you lost a pet, or went through a divorce or separation. Maybe you've lost something crucial to your identity, such as your career, your health, or you've acquired a disability. Maybe you're watching your child, family, and partner suffer from this loss as well.

Your life is no longer the same. You may feel angry, frustrated, helpless, resentful, jealous, and hurt. The depressive symptoms of grief, loss, and bereavment may make it difficult for you to work and connect with others.

It may seem as if you cannot move on. It may seem as if the whole world were happy except for you and your pain.

top

Stages of Grief - Elisabeth Kubler Ross

You might find yourself, or you child, going back and forth between the various stages of grief identified by Elisabeth Kubler Ross:

  • Denial - a disbelief that the loss has really occurred which usually happens right after the loss and is accompanied by shock.

  • Anger - a feeling of anger toward the deceased, toward God, toward those factually or non-factually responsible for the loss, or toward others who have not suffered the loss.

  • Bargaining - an obsessive going back over the facts of the events that lead to the loss, as if trying to determine what you could have done to change the outcome, or if the loss has yet to happen, like the impending death of a loved one, a bargaining with God or fate to avoid the loss, possibly by exchanging one's own life.

  • Depression - a lack of pleasure and enjoyment in activities, fatigue and sleep problems, and many other symptoms.

  • Acceptance - a change in one's identity and sense of future as a result of accepting and working through the loss.

top

Complicated Grief

Typically, grief over the loss of a loved one varies from nine months to three years. Different cultures also express grief in very different ways. Sometimes, grief can become what therapists call "complicated grief", when the grief is unable to run its natural coarse. The person becomes stuck in their grief, unable to move on. Complicated grief can happen for a variety of reasons, including:

  • A loss that involves a particularly sudden shock or surprise

  • A loss that was particularly violent and traumatic, causing PTSD symptoms

  • A loss that happened in childhood, particularly to a caregiver

  • A loss that happened in a situation where the person was unable to depend on others for support

  • A loss that involved a sense of responsibility, real or imagined, for the event on the part of the person grieving

top

Hope for Grief, Loss, and Bereavement in Oakland

The good news is that there is effective therapy for grief, loss, and bereavement in Oakland. Therapy begins with having a safe place to be able to talk about how you really feel, with someone who can accept your pain without judgement or fear and with whom you can be yourself.

EMDR and somatic interventions are excellent for those times when grief, loss, and bereavement involve complicated grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma. Hypnosis can help you use your imagination and the power of your mind to work through unresolved fears and doubts about what you "could have done" to avoid the loss. CBT offers research based help for depression and irrational thoughts about grief, loss, and bereavement. I offer these therapies to people who are grieving in Oakland.

top

Children and Grief, Loss, and Bereavement in Oakland

As a caregiver or parent to a child who has suffered a loss, there is a great deal of hope. Children can be very resilient to loss when they can depend upon a safe and nurturing caregiver to help. In Oakland, I offer play therapy and family therapy specifically designed to help children and families work through trauma, grief, and loss by building upon the strengths of your family.

I offer individual therapy to children and teens of all ages to help them make sense of their loss and to develop a stable, positive sense who they are. I work extensively with children who have lost parents as a result of a crime and who reside in the foster care system, as well as with adoptive parents, in Oakland.

There is hope. You can feel good again even with the horrible changes you've experienced. As an expert in grief, loss, bereavement and trauma, I am happy to help you, your child, or your family..

Call 415-820-1487 for a free phone consultation.

top