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Oakland Male Child Therapist Who Uses Play Therapy

Matthew Lindgren is a male child therapist who offers play therapy and conjoint family play therapy to help children with behavioral problems, child abuse, domestic violence, and foster care in Oakland.

What is Play Therapy?

I believe that play is one of the healthiest activities we can do. Play helps children learn about their world, themselves, and their emotions in ways that offer them incredible resilience to hardship. A play therapist helps children use this natural ability to heal and grow, usually in a special kind of office called a "play room", that is filled with a variety of toys that a child can use to work out his or her trauma and loss.

When families are going through difficult times, it is very easy to forget about the needs of children. Quite often, parents only bring those children into therapy who are expressing behavioral issues, such as aggression or hyperactivity, when the family is facing the trauma of a divorce, separation, death, illness, or abuse. Such children often take on the focus of the family's emotional concerns, playing the role of the one "with the problem", when in fact, their behavior usually reflects large systemic issues in the family. These children do need help, but their behavior usually says much more about the world in which they live than the things that "are wrong with them". Play allows children a way of learning without using language. Children often act out in their behavior the issues they see in their world because they lack the opportunity to express their pain and confusion safely through play.

Many children seem to be able to deal with incredible stress and trauma very well, and parents often forget to attend to the needs of these children who appear so well adapted and mature. Sometimes parents are tempted to reverse the roles between caretaker and child, so that these very mature children take on caretaking roles for one or more parents. This is especially true during times of grief and divorce, when a child may be afraid of losing the one parent he or she is "still with", and may put his or her own needs as a child on hold in order to secure a more stable relationship with a parent. Older children in homes with domestic violence, abuse, and neglect will also give up their childhoods in order to protect and parent younger children. By losing the opportunity to play, these children are at a signficant disadvantage emotionally and psychologically. They are forced to give up one of the most powerfull techniques they have to heal, learn, and grow.

All children need a safe place with safe people where they can play, but traumatized children must have this help in order to grow and heal. I encourage you not only to bring a traumatized or grieving child to a play therapist in Oakland like myself, but also to take time to play with them, allowing them to lead you into their world.

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Conjoint Family Play Therapy in Oakland

Whenever possible, I attempt to have a parent or caregiver present during play therapy sessions, as an active participant. I find that children naturally reach out to connect with safe and nurturing adults as a way of healing from trauma, and therapy is much more effective if they can connect with the important people in their lives during a session as a way of healing. Please see my page on conjoint family therapy to learn more about the Oakland family play therapy services I offer.

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Oakland Male Play Therapist

There are very few male therapists who work with young children or provide play therapy. I am usually the only male I see when I attend conferences of play therapists. This is unfortunate, because it can be very helpful for children to have a positive therapeutic experience with a safe male therapist, especially if there are no men in their lives, or if they have only had negative experiences with men.

I work with both boys and girls in Oakland, but I find that many parents, caregivers, and social workers tend to refer boys to me because of my gender, as well as because I specialize in treating physical and sexual abuse as well as domestic violence with play therapy.

I encourage you to do the same.

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Somatic, EMDR, and CBT Interventions for Play Therapy in Oakland

Unlike many Oakland play therapists, I will often introduce more directive techniques into play therapy when appropriate. When I do so, I balance the need to respect and allow a child to explore and grow naturally with the benefit of the intervention.

I am one of very few Oakland therapists trained to use EMDR and Somatic Experiencing interventions with children in play therapy. These powerful techniques are normally only used for adults, as they tend to require a certain amount of cognitive skills, verbal ability, and attention that most kids don't have. I've adapted these techniques to use them in play, making play therapy much more powerful.

I also work closely with parents and caregivers in Oakland, both in session with your child and out, to help you not only become a "play therapist" with you child, but also to continue the work of the session at home. I teach you somatic therapy techinques to help regulate your own nervous system so that you can in turn help your child do the same.

I work with you, and sometimes with separated partners, to create a stable environment for you child in situations where there is joint custody, as well as when there are difficult behaviors present, using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques. I help you both negotiate appropriate rewards and punishments so children have a sense of stability, and can't play one parent off the other.

I have experience working with the very challenging problem of children with reactive attachment disorder, where children often act in disturbing and confusing ways as a result of a childhood of abuse, neglect, and abondonment as well as frequent changes in caregivers. I encourage you to call to schedule an appointment to see me in Oakland.

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Call 415-820-1487 for a free phone consultation.